Sunday, December 4, 2011

HOw To Stay Young

Stay Young My Friend 

We  all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part  of who we are!


With little add-ons by me, DON DON Enjoy!

1.  Try everything twice. Especially Buffets!
On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:
"Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!
Now look at me."
Another woman wrote this on her tombstone:
"Lordy Lordy Look who's dead!"

2.  Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches
(and the moslims) pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches (or moslim)!)

3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, inventing new meals and snacks using found stuff in your cabinets, whatever...
Never let the brain get idle.  'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!
 or Buddah, or Allah, or whatever. Any way you look at it its a sin.

4. Enjoy the simple things, and try to enjoy the simple people like retarded folks.

5. Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
 My aunt died this way, but it's all good.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh,
spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER. And remind them that some things are NOT funny like Jesus dyin for our sins, and 9/11, whatever have you.

6.. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on.
Eat! Eat it all away. It may take several trips to the hyper buffet at Ryan's steak house, but I promise you, eventually you can eat the devil out!
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves, and our gold coupon book with hundreds of dollars in savings at popular food restaurants.
LIVE while you are alive. Pee while you are urinating, and eat while you are consuming, and beat while you are abusing.

7. Surround yourself with what you love: For me it's fast food restaurants. I just hop on my hoveround, and I'm at any of 14 different spots each whith an impressive 99 cent menu.
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever..

Your home is your refuge. I go weeks without leaving my home, or bathing.

8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.

If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
 But if you are happy being  what some call "horrifyingly morbidly obese" then just let yourself be " horrifyingly morbidly Happy too!"

9. Don't take guilt trips..

Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, (Sometimes I go sightseeing on my hoveround and say 'hi neighbor! something smells good over there' and they usully give you somethin.)
to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is. Again, another opportunity to eat the devil gone. I haven't felt guilty in years ever since a Sam's wholesale opened up down the street.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
I love you, my special friend. Now, be a dear and pick me up a couple of boxes of those soft powder donuts they got at the gas station next door!.'

11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second chance.. Or don't. I ask god to take my revenge on the and say "god curse you" beacause if they are mean to me, a CHRISTIAN, then they hate Jesus and need to burn in hell.

And if you don't send this to at least 4 people - who cares?
But do share this with someone.

Remember! Lost time can never be found. But TiVo what you can

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Especially me! So DON"T MAKE FUN! THAT MEANS YOU! JESSE! and SYLVIA! Yall got demonic spirits! and I'll be laughin when y'all are burnin in hellfire. I"LL BE LAUGHIN!!!!!!!!1!!!

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