Aunt Ruth

My Aunt Ruth is havin her 95th birthday comin up.  She says she wants it big cuz its probs gonna be her last.  THAT"S WHAT YOU SAID AT YOUR 90th AND 80th birthday parties.  The suspense is killin us.  Just Jokin! BAHAHAHAA No, Aunt RUTH and I are gonna ride side saddle all the way to heaven come the rapture.

Music

An inspiring message about Satan's power over our children.  SCREWW YOU SATAN! I ain't listenin to no more wine women and song frOM YOU! And I know you are possessin Jesse; he reeeks of unclean spirits and body odor and he CURSES like a sailor and likes MEXICAN women!
Make it a great day or not-the choice is God's!

Tuesday Smoothie

I try to fast for the Lord on Tuesdays until Noon eating absolutely nothin except stuff I can put in a blender-maybe some ritz crackers with some pixie sticks and a sliver or 8 of corn beef hash straight outta the can.  BUT NOTHIN ELSE.  Sylvia says they taste like F&*%*&@ ass shit cock, which knowing Sylvia could be either good or bad. For my Tuesday Smoothie I always start with about five scoops of NO SUGAR ADDED birthday cake ice cream and put fruit in it like the candied dried fruit in the picture. And next (say it with me) 3 cups of your favorite miracle whip or mayo for that creamy tangy kick.  Sprinkle with potato sticks and serve. DON"T FORGET YOUR BIB baaahaahaa. no, seriously i don't have no straws so I try to just do a mixture of sippin and inhalin like the whole cup was a straw and it can be kinda of messy especially if you bathe once a week like me. Blessed Blessed Blessed!!

Easter

I just wanna blogger about Jesus dyin on the cross for us a minute.  We celebrate it and it's a lotta fun. Like yesterday, Pastor Edna gave a neato sermon about how last week it was palm Sunday, So you have Jesus bein all loved and by the end of the week he's hangin on the cross. Them jews sure turn on a dime. And during passover the jews ceremoniously reenact the killing of our lord using Matza and gefelta fish or somethin.  Anyway just some food for thought.  Hope you had a good Easter.  I'm gonna start the atkins pretty soon so I made a splenda baked ham sooooooo goooooood.
Stay on team G.O.D.
Have you heard the news?  He's risen.

Slidell

That's Slidell, LoveyJean, Norma, Steve, Pastor Edna, her son, and a few others after our WONDERFUL trip to Lakewood church a few weeks ago.  I LOOOVE Slidell's hair.  And Steve really needs to settle down with a christ centered woman.  He's really good looking, but doesn't date enough. He's tryin to start some ministry in the GAY part of town to turn GAYS into humans; he sure spends a lot of time over there, but God's will I guess. I'm scrapbookin and pulled this picture out and thought, "Oh NEATO!" I'm really into scrapbooking now especially pictures of me eating like crazy long subs for a free meal or a huge steak for a free meal or sobbing profusely while being screamed at and forced fed for a free meal.

Stay Blessed and make your weekend a CHRIST-end (on account he died for our Easter)

Fun hot dog idea

I turned Jesse onto this way of eatin hot dogs since he's on the Atkins now. That's HIS beer there in the background NOT MINE! Anyhoo this treat is Real tasty, and works with strawberry jam or reddi whip - HOT DOGS taste good any way you stuff it. I usually make a tray of about 40 of these right before Glee comes on.  It really curves my depression.
Stay Blessed!

Cat ANGELS

This reminds me of my cat Miss Devine.  She's a cat of largess as well

I know that cat angel just wants to eat that lil birdie Bahahaha

Maybe if leonardo or mozart or whoever painted this instead of being gay and diseased, they would of had Christ in their hearts. 

I just want underwears made of this soft lookin cat

I think the black cat must be evil cuz it's black.




BE BLESSED and STAY ON TEAM GOD!

Need I say more?

I, DonDon, too am pretty much always online, cause of my disability and disinclination to leave my house. Be Blessed!

Beautiful Images of Angels TRUE STORY!

My neighbor Jesse can be a you-know-what in the ass sometimes, but he sent me these beautiful artworks of Angels.  Can you pick our which one reminds you of your guardian angel?

They are there when we wake up

They watch over us at night

They even help us garden

And some even look like Jennifer Aniston

They're fun

They are our guardian angels, and our lives are teetering in their hands. BE BLESSED!!

Joel Olsteen's message today at church

I have to be hones I thought Joel Osteen' message today seemed a little short, but just means I can quote him easier.  Today he simply said, 

"Jesus Glows"

                    

  "And he shoots sun lazers at you"




Take it however you wanna I guess.  Have a great blessed day!

another amazing true story

This makes me touched, and when I'm solemn I eat salami.

 A professor at a fancy college was pacing around all smart like before his lecture. Finally, he called to a student to stand up
"You there," he barked, "Do you believe in God?"
The student was taken aback, but said, "Yes Sir I do."
"Then tell me, did he not create everything?"
"Yes, sir, he did"
"Aha," said the professor as he slapped the student.  The other students in the class looked down.  One girl peed in her pants and therefore forfeited her scholarship.
"Then tell me, does evil exist?"
The student stammered, but said," yes sir it does."
"Then God created evil, did he not?"
The student looked to the other students for help, even the incontinent pathetic girl who shouldn't be studying at a man's level anyway, and finally said, "I guess he did, sir"
The professor was so delighted with himself that he passed gas ON AN AMERICAN FLAG OF JESUS.
"So then you must agree that God is evil."
"Yes."
"You must also agree that 2000 years ago God had an affair with a nice young Jewish Girl and they're STILL talking about it."
"Yes, sir, I do."
"Also, Jesus could walk on water BEFORE he had holes in his feet.  Now I'd like to see him try it."
"In addition, isn't it true that if you annoy Jesus too much, you can make him cross?"
"Hold on, sir," the timid child said
"What?" Boomed the professor.
"I think God is inherently love, and he made Satan out of boredom, and I think he likes to use us as pawns so he and Satan can compete using our ability of free will to find out who can get the most "pawns" at the end of the day so to speak. Without this ongoing chess match between God and Satan, what does it all mean?"
The professor stumbled.  He had never heard this logic before and couldn't reconcile his Satan worshiping atheistic beliefs with the profound truth that was uttered before him.
"I don't know what to say." muttered the professor under his breath, "You may sit down, " the professor finally said and resigned from the school and was cursed for being a d bag.

The student was Albert Einstein.

The Professor was Barrack Obama.

too scared to forward it?  YOU BETTER BE!

Satan Worshipping foreign animals

I don't know what the name of this video translates to; probably HOW TO MAKE FIDO WORSHIP SATAN.
See how these foreign countries worship SATAN?? Using DOGS??? Satan has even infected foreign pet life.  LOOK AT THAT TACKY OUTFIT that dog has on. Even the camera work reeks of unclean spirits. Have a blessed day!

Fun with Pizza

Yall know I'm like ,"I sure wish we could put pizza on that." or ,"can't you deep fry the twinkie AND wrap a pizza around it too." well here are some ideas you can do with your own cooking.

Everyone knows pizza makes great hamburger buns.  I eat at least 4 of these a week.

Pizza makes a great plate that you can wipe your mouth with and eat afterwards.  I once had a pizza table cloth that was a hit at my uncle Booby Jo's funeral.

Ofcourse the mexicans do the taco thing with their pizzas, it's so good hot or frozen

And ofcourse there's dessert.  After having this I can't imagine dessert NOT on a pizza.

April showers bring May flowers

Spring Birds and Sunday bar-b-q's

 Means my friend Leanne is bringin the meat!  RUN, JESUS! That there shotgun is LOADED! And she's hungry for pigeon and them goats! Bahahaaaha!

My neighbor Duane

Duane next door is so nice.  His dogs ain't.

He's down cause his fiance (she's a chinese) told him she didn't wanna marry him no more, but wants to stay his fiance.  I told him, "huh?" whatever THAT means."  Anyway, he came over and I made banana chocolate fudge smoothies.  He poored some rum in the blender and now they're daiquiris.  We laughed, took pictures of each other but he kept on crying every few minutes looking at somethin or nothin that reminded him wasn't marryin a his chinese no more.  I don't know, he's real sad, but said he liked the drinks, though. I guess that'll be another entry into my "while I was disabled" cookbook.
Be blessed!

READ THIS -TRUE STORY!

A friend told me this inspiring story abut how God talks to everybody:

I was at Target and I saw this little boy standing outside the store looking frail and hungry.  He had brown lunch bags for shoes, and was just about drooling over everybody's groceries as they was leaving.

I went over and asked if he was all right.  He said he didn't understand the question, because he was so poor he couldn't afford to pay attention.

My heart sanked and I asked if he had family, and he said yes. He and his 5 brothers and sisters lived in a tiny one room apartment.  That his mother kept them there while she was trying to become a debutant a couple of towns over.  They were fed stale crumpets, and where they lived was so small they had to actually go outside just to change their minds.

I felt so bad especially since the little boy was white.  I would understand if he was a minority.

We talked a little more and he told me how they have to watch TV on an etch-a-sketch and then he got worried, because he couldn't even afford to put his two cents into the conversation.

I thought, "that's it" and went into Target and bought some groceries and ate at the little cafe they have at the target watching the hungry little boy standing outside just looking in awe at all the food people were buying.  When I finished I went outside to him and showed him a menu and all the wonderful thing I had to eat and how I was so full I had to throw away food. He just about fainted, I let him keep the menu so he could take it home to his family and they could read it to each other.

If you have a heart then send this to 16 people in 1.6 seconds.  If you don't, then simply do nothing and die alone.
Be Blessed!

Salads

As many of yall know I am trying to take this time to maybe get back into my swimming mumu in time for swimming mumu season.
I have been trying to eat salad more, and people are like, "DonDon you're gonna waste away." Bahahaha I don't think so.  But salads ar sooooo easy to make.  Simply chop up anything and SURPRISE! you got a salad.

MEAT Salad.  taste even better when you sprinkle cereal, jam or reese's on it all salad like

Miracle whip can make anything into a salad

Don't feel like cookin? NO PROBLEM! cut up some uncooked bacon for a nice cold greasy diet treat

You might ask, "DonDon what about my Lean cuisines?"  Can you chop it up? "Yessir" then it's a salad! Enjoy, and be blessed!
 And the above salads can be all mixed together for a SUPER DIET salad like I eat when I am taking a bath.  If you spill or drool some salad into the bath water DON"T WORRY! it's nice and silky on the skin.

A Few things You May Not Know About Don Don

My least favorite weather condition - hale (pronounced HELL!!)

My least favorite director - HELL!! Ashby

My least favorite part of the house - the HELLway

My least favorite portion size - a HELLping of food!!

My least favorite part of the body - the HEELL!!

My least favorite 50 cent word - HELLcyon!!

My least favorite song - all HELL!! the chief

My least favorite celebrated tragic love affair - Abelard and HELLoise!!

My least favorite typeface - HELLvetica!!

My least favorite mammal - the blue wHELL!!

My least favorite food - sHELL fish!!

My least favorite Beatles song - HELLp!!

My least favorite type of carpentry work - sHELLving!!

My least favorite era - HELLenic!!

My least favorite word for the afterlife - valHELLa!!

My least favorite greeting card company - HELLmark!!

My least favorite magazine - HELLthy living!!

My least favorite religious exclamation - HELLalujah

If God had a Fridge...

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. 

If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. 

He sends you flowers every spring. 

He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy
about you! 

And If He Can't Have you NO ONE WILL!!!!

Leaving DonDon's House

I'm leaving DonDon's house....

 And I'm coming FOR YOU!!!!!

KNOCK!   KNOCK!

Inspiring Cat Video

Thank you to RobieandBobby Comics for sending this video gem to me and my cats' attentinons.  I've watched this 37 times so far.  As RobbbieandBobby suggested,  This truly has inspired me to fly higher. You guys are my chickenheads of the week!!  I've watched it over 40 times so far, slowly stroking my cats the whole time while eating my new favorite breakfast:  puree of spam drizzled over cinnabuns then drizzled again with bacon grease garnished with speghettiO's. SOOO GOOD I was tempted to throw it up so I could eat it agian.  BAHAHAHAHA

Eat and EnJoy!! And then eat again!

The Scientifical approach to Jesus

He wasn't a chemist but he turned water into wine

He wans't a biologist but he wasn't born using natural conception

He wasn't a physicist but he defied the laws of gravity when he ascended into heaven

He wasn't an economist, but he defied economics law of diminishing returns when he fed 5000 people with only 2 fishes and 5 loaves of bread

HE wasn't a doctor but he cured the sick and blind without using a single cc of drugs

He wasn't a historian but he is the beginning and the end

He wasn't a polotician but he said he would be called the wonderful counselor, and prince of peace

He wasn't a beaurocrat but he said no one can get to the father except through him.

He had no degrees, but was called teacher.

He had no servants, but people called him master

He wasn't hispanic, but people called him Jesus

He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world. He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him. 

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today. 

Pass this along to 8 people in 8 seconds, and you will have the smile of Jesus upon you.   Don't, and your house will be cursed.

Have a Blessed Day!