VERY educational video WATCH IT!!!

This is what they were teachin when I was at school and YOU DON"T see me getting drunk ,drugged up, ungodly,or marrying someone of a different race  and gettin somebody PREGNANT!! NO SIR!!! WAtch this and let's pray that we can return to the America I grew up in.

On Knees For Jesus

Armor of God PajaMamas?!

I'm Always tellin folks to "PUT ON THE ARMOR OF GOD" before they go out.  UNfortunately, thhese don't come in a XXXXXLLLLL .  GUESS WHO"S GOT an idea for next CRAFTY NIght!!! BAhahhaha

Hurricane Irene: See how God Talks to us?

Jesse sent me this photo. ITS FROM NASA!!! If you look closely you can make out a MOSLIM INT HE StoRM!!!!!!.  This Irene hurricane is PURE EVIL!!!! coming at the eastern seaboard.  SEE WHAT HAPPENS, EasTERN Seaboard, when you don't have CHRIST in youR LIFE?????

Breakfast with Jesus

I saw this and nearly fell off my hoveRound. This sums up my life. I eat that exact meal for breakfast, and I put pictures of Jesus by the table and I imagine I'm havin' breakfast with Jesus, except he don't wanna talk or say nothin and only looks off in the distance with a 100 mile stare.  but this place nailed it! So I figured God wanted me to go it and I DID!!! I had a nice second breakfast- evrthing u see in the picture. It was a nice day!

Crafty Night

Lovey Jean, her sister Ruthie-Jean, Leanne, Rhonda, pastor Edna and me had a craft night. It was soooooo fun puttin together crafts from old T-Shirts. I made the CUUUUUUTEST turban from a raggedy Billy Ray Curus T-Shirt that don't fit no more (XXXXL MY BUTT!!! Lyin Concert T-shirt salesmen). Look how great I look. It's Perfect for those HOT pasadena TX days when you wish you had a turban on to catch the sweat pourin from ur head.  MISS DEVINE!!! HOW DID YOU GET IN THERE PICTURE???!!!!! She was SUPPOST TO be wearin the CUUUTE turban I made her, but she thought it was some kinda toy and chewed it up. THANK YOU MISS DEVINE! Anyhoo, we had such a good time, and I don't drink like the girls do (AND THEY DID!!! BAHAHAHAhaha), but Yoo-Hoo Zima cocktails taste reaaaaLLLL good, y'all.

A nice message of prayer

This put a smile on my face... or was it the melted ice cream surprise I used instead of milk on my syrup moo shoo pork cookie crisp breakfast (also a surprise)?

Haircut day

Leanne came over and gave me and Ms Devine both haircuts. She even trimmed my mustache. Don't we look soooo cute? She says I look 20 pounds thinner. YES, PLEASE! and Our hairs feel like cotton, I even sprinkled sweet n low onto ms devine and licked it like it was cotton candy SHE DONT MIND I do it all the time.

Yum

TRY THIS:
MIx 1 cool whip (or 2 if theyr on sale) with Diet pepsi for a diet coke float. NOw TAKE IT HARD CORE:
FREEZE IT! and mix with spaghetti sauce for a nice salsa or cold tomatoe soup (real high class dish)
NOW HIT IT UP- put it all in a blender and pour it all over your body and sit in the sun for about an hour. Tell me that is not like being in the womb.
Be BLessed!!!

Eatin out

I tried the new wild wings near my house cuz on account they had 11 cent wings. So I thought, what the hey and got me some. Well the bottomless drinks were OK. I hate when soda is too soda-ey. Wild Wings aint got too much bubbles intheir sodas so its nice and syruppy and real refreshin. The wings were ok. a little small and dry. After my first fifty I was still a little hingry so I ordered the family combo- with buffalo chicken tenders and I asked them to go ahead and mix the blue cheez and ranch dips cuz I was gonna do it anyway. Not enuf sugar in the blue cheez. If I wanna eat somethin called blue Im expectin pie fillin. Thank you Jesus I always bring my own. When I opened my can of blueberry pie fillin everyone was lookin at me like " I cant believe I didn/t think of that., I am sooo jealous" Anyhoo, I won't try Wild Wings again unless the y got 5 cent wings or sumthin.

Stay Blessed !

I'm Back

I tell ya folks, it's been a ruff coupla weeks. My computer broke cuz of my cats cant lick their behinds on account of morbid obesity (do I spoil them? GUILTY!)baaahaaa. and the poo poo has dripped from them all up in my computer parts. Cheez wiz was there too.  Cheez wiz has found its way up in every part of my house. Doctor even said there was sum in my kidney stone. HUH?? yessir you heard me. I had a kidney stone too. See how Satan tries to get at you? Anyways, I just got this months disability check FINALLY and I'm off to check out the new Wing-stop over near CiCI's pizza buffet. YES I AM DOUBLE DIPPIN, but I'm celebratin another day christ has given me. I'll tell yall how I liked it.

Satan IS a pain the rear end

One of my long time fans, Dan sent me this wonderful link PROVING God can cure anything.  Sometimes my hemhoroids are a real pain and I just sit on the bible for a bit  or I tear sheets of bible outta the bible and use them for medicated pads to soothe my hemorhoids and I ALWAYS feel better.  If my cats a vomittin I shred up pieces of the bible for her to eat AND SHE ALWAYS feels better after.  Or if I'm too busy eatin to say grace I use parts of the bible for napkins to wipe the chili and cheesecake off my mouth and I NEVER get too bad heartburn after. Or I use the bible on roaches, wobbly chairs, I use the sacred word on anything and everything.
Have a BLESSED MEMORIAL DAY. What are YOU 'Memoring this weekend?

Jesus is here y'all

Here is PROOF GOD IS REAL! I see him in my poo poo sometimes and I feel guilty flushin, but then I think maybe God wants to touch somebody in the sewer. Once I called the news when Jesus showed up on what I call my dingle berry patch, AND in some of my shingles. GOD just chats away at me via vaguely discernable images of him or Mary all the time. PLUS he never shows up to sinful people like Jesse or Sylvia on account of their unclean spirits and makin fun of me all the time.
STAY BLESSED

God Talks to Us in mysterious ways

I found $8 in my epidermal folds today during my bi-weekly bathing, AND FOUN 8 BUCKS.  Which is exactly what I would need to supersize 2 COMBO MEALS I eat for lunch.  IF that aint GOD talkin to me, I DON"T WANNA BE RIGHT!! Oh and here's a picture of LEANNE and SYLVIA when they were still talkin.  We went to the Pasadena watermelon festival. SOOOO much fun. they had deep fried butter sticks-AMAZING with redi-whip.

BE BLESSED!!!

all out of ideas? Just look up and say, "Yes, Lord?"

Hump Day Breakfast

I loooooove substitutin donuts for bagels and cheez wiz and tacos substitutin for eggs and eggs substitutin for icecream and  hands substitutin for plates and stomach substitutin for napkins and batter fryin substitutin for steamin.  Anyway, I like to make this pre-breakfast snack and this is how I do it when Im in a bind.  TRY IT DON"T DIET!
STAY BLESSED!!!

PROOOF GOD IS REAL

One of my FAV bible study Partners Austin shared this link with me.  SOOOO COOOl. TAKE THAT Atheists!!
http://explainthisathiests.tumblr.com/

The American Jesus |

The American Jesus |

There you have it!! Rock and RoLL is full of sex drugs and worshippin Satan. Very inspirin and thought provokin documentary about all the satan worsippin soul sellin rock stars. COUNT ME OUT. I'll take 4HIM any DAY

Someon'es Birthday

Y'all know I loove findn that purrrfect gift for my friends on their b-days.  Well this takes the cake (and I eat the cake bahahahhaaaa and I like to substitute cake for sandwich bread when making my FAMOUS monte cristo sandwich where I put all the fixins for a ham and cheezwiz sandwhich and batter fry the whole thing and serve (myself) it with ketchup and jam) YUM!!!

Anyhoo my friend Slidell smokes cancer sticks like a chimney and sleeps with every tom dick and harry all at once while listenin to BLACK music.  So I got this LOVELY ashtray on my visit to the greater Rural areas of Houston antiquin and found this treasure.  I think the Lord was tellin me PERSONALLY to give this to Slidell as a kinda hint to turn her life around.
What do y'all think?

SORRY!!

Please excuse the last post.  I been on a retreat for the last few days with my church and stupidly asked a certain SOMEONE we will call SYLVIA!!! to PLEASE FEED my cats.  Well I don't think she did cuz they were meowin up a storm when I came back, and their litter boxes were FILTHY. THANK YOU Sylvia, NOT!!! I don't know how she got into my computer and onto my blogger, but she did.  DOES ANYBODY know how to erase a blogger post or how to change my password? I'm so computer ILLligterarate I can barely press the send buttin when I'm orderin Pizza Hut, Little Caesars, Dominoes, Pappa Jons for my Wednesday night taste of Italy night where I dress up like the pope and feast on Italian culture while watchin Criminal Minds. And by the way, Sylvia do you really think I would leave my PRESCRIPTIONS at home where I can't get 'em when I'm on a CHURCH REETREAT? I regret leavin my Banana Cherry Sutter Homes cookin wine, but the cardboard box is dryer than Sylvia's HAIR . GOD listens to the prayers of a disabled person, SYLVIA so WATCH OUT!!

hi

Hi, I'm Don Don aND I SMELL AND I like the smell of my own farts and i fart and shit all the time constantly, and Sylvia is cool and I'm stupid and probably like little boys and I'm fat, and I shit on Sylvia all tha time for no reason cause i'm Don Don and I'm fat and I'm fat and I'ma fat. I WISH I could be Sylvia -she's so cool and used to be a Derrick Doll for the Houston Oilers and was the finest piece of ass on that field, and DonDon is too fat in the brain to give her the respect she deserves. And if he is really on disability there should be a shit load of oxicotton or vicodin in his house but aint SHIT- what's up DonDon?? I'm DonDon I eat cat food and smell like rotten shiot!!!

Aunt Ruth

My Aunt Ruth is havin her 95th birthday comin up.  She says she wants it big cuz its probs gonna be her last.  THAT"S WHAT YOU SAID AT YOUR 90th AND 80th birthday parties.  The suspense is killin us.  Just Jokin! BAHAHAHAA No, Aunt RUTH and I are gonna ride side saddle all the way to heaven come the rapture.