Sunday, December 11, 2011

Christmas Billboards

As you can guess I am a advocate for War on CHRISTmas.  When folks tell me Happy Holidays, I'm offended and tell them back, "God Curse You". This is the time of year to celebrate JESUS BIrthday not Chanukah! Not Kwaanza! Those are CULT ceremonies that need to be outlawed! Jesus was born in a manger made of a CHRISTMAS tree. And every year Mary and Joseph would decorate a tree for Jesus with ornaments symbolizing all the abortions people have so they could remember the children killed by liberals.  Anyway, here are some Bollboards to look at remindin us the reason for the season!






Sunday, December 4, 2011

HOw To Stay Young

Stay Young My Friend 

We  all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part  of who we are!

 

;
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
With little add-ons by me, DON DON Enjoy!

1.  Try everything twice. Especially Buffets!
On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:
"Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!
Now look at me."
Another woman wrote this on her tombstone:
"Lordy Lordy Look who's dead!"

2.  Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches
(and the moslims) pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches (or moslim)!)



3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, inventing new meals and snacks using found stuff in your cabinets, whatever...
Never let the brain get idle.  'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!
 or Buddah, or Allah, or whatever. Any way you look at it its a sin.

4. Enjoy the simple things, and try to enjoy the simple people like retarded folks.



5. Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
 My aunt died this way, but it's all good.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh,
spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER. And remind them that some things are NOT funny like Jesus dyin for our sins, and 9/11, whatever have you.



6.. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on.
Eat! Eat it all away. It may take several trips to the hyper buffet at Ryan's steak house, but I promise you, eventually you can eat the devil out!
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves, and our gold coupon book with hundreds of dollars in savings at popular food restaurants.
LIVE while you are alive. Pee while you are urinating, and eat while you are consuming, and beat while you are abusing.

7. Surround yourself with what you love: For me it's fast food restaurants. I just hop on my hoveround, and I'm at any of 14 different spots each whith an impressive 99 cent menu.
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever..

Your home is your refuge. I go weeks without leaving my home, or bathing.



8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.

If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
 But if you are happy being  what some call "horrifyingly morbidly obese" then just let yourself be " horrifyingly morbidly Happy too!"



9. Don't take guilt trips..

Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, (Sometimes I go sightseeing on my hoveround and say 'hi neighbor! something smells good over there' and they usully give you somethin.)
to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is. Again, another opportunity to eat the devil gone. I haven't felt guilty in years ever since a Sam's wholesale opened up down the street.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
I love you, my special friend. Now, be a dear and pick me up a couple of boxes of those soft powder donuts they got at the gas station next door!.'



11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second chance.. Or don't. I ask god to take my revenge on the and say "god curse you" beacause if they are mean to me, a CHRISTIAN, then they hate Jesus and need to burn in hell.

And if you don't send this to at least 4 people - who cares?
But do share this with someone.








Remember! Lost time can never be found. But TiVo what you can

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. Especially me! So DON"T MAKE FUN! THAT MEANS YOU! JESSE! and SYLVIA! Yall got demonic spirits! and I'll be laughin when y'all are burnin in hellfire. I"LL BE LAUGHIN!!!!!!!!1!!!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Dyin? THink AGAIN!!



 YOU MAY NOT REMEMBER THE NAME---JESUS CHRIST...EVEN WHEN SAYING THAT PRECIOUS NAME "IN VAIN"...CHANGE IT TO:  "OH BUDDA"! ."..BUT YOU WILL KNOW THE NAME OF STEVE JOBS...THE FOUNDER OF APPLE WHO JUST PASSED AWAY.  THOSE WORDS AT HIS PASSING WERE..".MY GOD, HAVE I MADE A BIG MISTAKE...THERE IS A HELL AND I NEVER ACCEPTED JESUS AS MY SAVIOR!..WOW!"  DOnt's Believe me?  KEEP READIN THEN!!










     
                     
 What The Lord Is Saying Today


October 31, 2011. What will your last words be as you exit life on earth? I read today that Steve Jobs, former CEO of Apple, spoke these last words as he made his exit from life: "Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow." Nothing about his life ever indicated his conversion to Christianity. We can only guess what Jobs might have seen or be experiencing at the moment of his passing. My prayer has always been that when that time comes for me that I will be strong, and filled with courage and hope. It has never been anything that I dread. Rather, when God calls me home, I expect to see Jesus and the light of His glory welcoming me. I hope you are ready when God calls you home.

Psalm 31:24 (NASB) "Be strong and let your heart take courage, All you who hope in the LORD."   Ras Robinson.    SPECIAL: We encourage you to order both of these books by Ras Robinson and read them before Nov. 11. "How to Receive God's Anointing" "Taking Away the Devil's Opportunity" $7.95 each or $12.95 for both. Order Books


YOU"RE NEXT, BILL GATES. JESUS IS ON THE HUNT, AND HE HAS AN APETITE FOR YOUR SOUL!!!



Sunday, October 30, 2011

Celebrating Halloween? Think again sinner!

Y'all know my beliefs are all Jesus is the reason for the season whether its Christmas or July 4th or Tax Day I'm all about "This was a Christian holiday first" . So here we are again with Halloween which was originally called Hallalujaween back in Jesus times when Jesus would do some ofhis best tricks .ike walkin on water or his treats like makin a whole picnic of filet-o-fish sandwiches from a can of tuna and a slice of wonderbread. But ofcourse the Godless folks changed it to the devil worshippin it is today. Candy is nice though. At least they did SOMETHIN right. Anyway, enjoy this weeks message of truth and stay blessed.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Church retreat!!

Just came back from a church retreat with Pastor Edna and the rest of the congrgation.  I EVEN TOOK MISS DEVINE!!!(see pic below).  YOu can see in the picture below how sweet she was. She stayed mostly in the tent cuz I don't want her around wild animals. AND LOOK AT MOUNTAIN MAN DON DON!!! My mustache razor broke so i looked all "rugged" Pastor Edna said I looked like the BRAWNY MAN, CAN YOu Believe it??? Any way we sat and prayed and stuff all week. We made sacrifices to the fire and danced around to contemporary christian music. I brought my famous capn crunch crusted meatballs for all to enjoy, AND THEY DID!!! BAhahahhaa.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

My neighbor Duane

I've posted about him before, but Duane my neighbor came over lookin all Satan like again.  Clearly the product of failed parentin and demon possession.  Nice boy. Takes care of his mamma but needs a trip to Fantastic Sams for a trim and TJ Max for some nice clothes. IT"S ON ME DUANE!! He keeps me company when I go on a fast food runs and he likes to watch ABC Family too!! But I guess he's just goin thru a faze. I GOT A COOL FAZE FOR YOU TO GO THRU DUANE. It's called GIVIN YOUR LIFE TO THE LORD! He's got the coolest party in town and if you aren't there youre square... and experiencin undescribable pain as your flesh burns for eternity while you are repeatedly subjected to horrors beyond the human imagination. Stay blessed!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

nice message to start ur thirsday

Hi friends. Just got another disability check on account of my fall at HEB pantry store. Well here is a nice picture from one of my favorite bloggerers who really sticks it to atheists who are DEMONS in disguis using there secret weapon of REASON to attack faith. well I'll be laughin at them when theyre burnin in hell askin me to spit on them to alieve the pain. I DON"T THINK sSO. I spit for GOD! Beblessed!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Lovely song about religiun

Yall know I like GOOD music, and here's a song that had me bouncin rolls of flesh to the beat of there drummin!  this song sure is stuk in my hed all the time like durin my weekly hosin of my body when i set up the kiddy pool by the fridge and fill it with water and edible soap (so i don't get all bored in there) and hose my smelly parts usually when the court Tv block in on. I always find at least a few quarters hidin in a crevis but the other day WHILE I happened to be PRAISIN the LORD I found 3 dollars AND a half eaten KFC original recipe thigh stuck betweeen three love handles and either my belly button or my butt hole - I couldn't see without my glasses. See HOW THE LORD REWARDS?? I be praisin him all the time now right before breakfast or in line at Wendy's BAHAHAHAHAA!!!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

OBAMA will kill us all HE SAID SO HISELF!!!

I got this email and THANK YOU JESUS I did cuz OBama is gonna KILL US ALL with his BLACK MOSLIM ways.  READ ON and BE BLESSED!!!!

Coil of Rage ....
When you've read to the end, come back and read this first paragraph again. 

A Coil of Rage 
The character of any man is defined by how he treats his mother as the years pass .... need I say more about this person below other than there is no character, no integrity but there is a ton of attitude and arrogance that defines his shallow past and hollow future ..... I rest my case..  

I bought and read Obama's book, Audacity of Hope. It was difficult to read considering his attitude toward us and everything American. Let me add a phrase he use to describe his attitude toward whites. He harbors a "COIL OF RAGE". His words not mine. 

THIS IS OUR PRESIDENT -- HE'S RUNNING AGAIN, YOU KNOW! Is anyone out there awake? 
Everyone of voting age should read these two books by him: Don't buy them, just get them from the library. 

From Dreams From My Father: 
"I ceased to advertise my mother's race at the age of 12 or 13, because she wasn't moslim enuf for me or my BLACK daddy"

From Dreams From My Father : 
"I found a solace in thinkin about naked WHITE women"


From Dreams From My Father : 
"I always wundered wut a white man's HEART tasted like while his white wife and white children watched him die."

From Dreams From My Father: 
"There was something about her that made me UPPITY even tho she wanted me to bust up her chifarobe, Mayella Ewell had it comin with her WHITE ways."

From Dreams From My Father : 
"I liked 9/11"

From Dreams From My Father : 
"When I becum prezidnet I'll make all coins say IN MUHAMED WE TRUST"

From Dreams From My Father: 
"It remained necessary to prove which side you were on, and why when I become prezident I"m gonna start a RACE WAR between whites and MOSLIMS. There's gonna be white blood in the streets and Whites will be slaves to Blacks and I'm gonna make it law if I get reelected"

From Dreams From My Father: 
"I never emulate white men and brown men whose fates didn't speak to my own. It was into my father's image, the black man, son of Africa , that I'd packed all the attributes I sought in myself: the attributes of Martin and Malcolm, DuBois and Mandela and IT's REVENGE TIME against WHITEY." 

And FINALLY .............. and most scary: 

From Audacity of Hope: 
"I will stand with the Moslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction. IF YOU ARE WHITE BE AFRAID" 

If you have never forwarded an e-mail, now is the time to do so!!! We have someone with this mentality running our GREAT nation! Keep your eye on him and don't blink. 

I don't care whether you are a stupid Democrat, a Republican, a Conservative or a crazy liberal, be aware of the attitude and character of this sitting President. He will kill you.  He will kill you and rape your children!!! He warned us in his books, in his color, and in his name, AND WE DIDN'T LISTEN!!!

Spread the word, his own words! 

Only fools and the uninformed will vote for him in 2012.


my website

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Jesus Casserole

I know I know I havent' put up recipes in a long time.  Well here you go!!! Soooo Good . Jesus Casserole.Sooooo Goood. Eat the body of Christ any time.  I made two cuz I loooooove seconds!!

Take 10 ramen and boil in Pepsi in Microwave
Eat 1 bag of pork Rinds (oops! I was savin that for the toppin Bahhhahahahah!!!)
cover with ragu or for somethin sweeter cover with catsup and arby's sauce
add mushrooms for health.
Say GUESS WHAT"S FOR DINNER JESUS! YOU!!! Bahashhahah!!!!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Jews FOR?! Jesus?! NOw I've seen everything.

Here's a delightfully funny video.... I think.   I'm not sure though cuz they keep sayin things that sound like they're readin labels off the kosher foods asile. But there you have it folks Jews that actually are on GOd's team (NEW Testament) AND still doin weird Jewish stuff (OLD testament).

Friday, September 9, 2011

Cat Licker!!!

MISS DEVINE!!! Busted!! Caught you red handed ON YOUR TONGUE!!! Bahahahaa. No, but really Miss Devine is always lickin anything and everything off all parts of my body.  I was enjoyin my favorite evenin time drink- vienna sausage can juice cocktail (see earlier blog for recipe!!!) while I was nappin and she was lickin some cocktail off my face - YOu Drunk!! Just jokin! AINT SHE just an ANGEL????///????? YES! She is! That's why I named her Miss Devine Bahahahhaha!!!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Dancing with the Stars No Longer Family-Friendly

I can't believe DWTS (that's dancin with the stars) is no longer family friendly cuz they're gettin CHAZ BONO, Cher's Dawter/son. Now see what happens when Satan takes over? You become a man/woman like they got at the circus-THE LEAST IMPRESSIVE thing they got at the circus. And I LOVE the circus. Why can't they make Atkins Cotton Candy at the circus???/? This upsets me so much I can barely eat my marshmellows and grainy mustard pancakes- MY FAV for Wet Wednesdays.   I was actually gonna post a recipe for it-NEXT TIME!!!!















On Knees for Jesus: Dancing with the Stars No Longer Family-Friendly

Monday, September 5, 2011

Inspiring Video of Christians

Bein on disability gives me a lotta free time to find nice videos like this one while surfin the web. NOT REAL SURFIN!!! I'd Fall OFF !!! Bahahahaha. This is a nice video of christians doin their thang- being godly and better 'n ever one else. ENJOY!!! I know I did. Only thing is the name is called "Stupid Christians" there AIN"T NUTHIN stupid with bein christian unless its a christian science A CULT!!1!


Wednesday, August 31, 2011

VERY educational video WATCH IT!!!

This is what they were teachin when I was at school and YOU DON"T see me getting drunk ,drugged up, ungodly,or marrying someone of a different race  and gettin somebody PREGNANT!! NO SIR!!! WAtch this and let's pray that we can return to the America I grew up in.
On Knees For Jesus

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Armor of God PajaMamas?!

I'm Always tellin folks to "PUT ON THE ARMOR OF GOD" before they go out.  UNfortunately, thhese don't come in a XXXXXLLLLL .  GUESS WHO"S GOT an idea for next CRAFTY NIght!!! BAhahhaha

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Hurricane Irene: See how God Talks to us?

Jesse sent me this photo. ITS FROM NASA!!! If you look closely you can make out a MOSLIM INT HE StoRM!!!!!!.  This Irene hurricane is PURE EVIL!!!! coming at the eastern seaboard.  SEE WHAT HAPPENS, EasTERN Seaboard, when you don't have CHRIST in youR LIFE?????

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Breakfast with Jesus

I saw this and nearly fell off my hoveRound. This sums up my life. I eat that exact meal for breakfast, and I put pictures of Jesus by the table and I imagine I'm havin' breakfast with Jesus, except he don't wanna talk or say nothin and only looks off in the distance with a 100 mile stare.  but this place nailed it! So I figured God wanted me to go it and I DID!!! I had a nice second breakfast- evrthing u see in the picture. It was a nice day!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Crafty Night

Lovey Jean, her sister Ruthie-Jean, Leanne, Rhonda, pastor Edna and me had a craft night. It was soooooo fun puttin together crafts from old T-Shirts. I made the CUUUUUUTEST turban from a raggedy Billy Ray Curus T-Shirt that don't fit no more (XXXXL MY BUTT!!! Lyin Concert T-shirt salesmen). Look how great I look. It's Perfect for those HOT pasadena TX days when you wish you had a turban on to catch the sweat pourin from ur head.  MISS DEVINE!!! HOW DID YOU GET IN THERE PICTURE???!!!!! She was SUPPOST TO be wearin the CUUUTE turban I made her, but she thought it was some kinda toy and chewed it up. THANK YOU MISS DEVINE! Anyhoo, we had such a good time, and I don't drink like the girls do (AND THEY DID!!! BAHAHAHAhaha), but Yoo-Hoo Zima cocktails taste reaaaaLLLL good, y'all.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

A nice message of prayer

This put a smile on my face... or was it the melted ice cream surprise I used instead of milk on my syrup moo shoo pork cookie crisp breakfast (also a surprise)?

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Haircut day

Leanne came over and gave me and Ms Devine both haircuts. She even trimmed my mustache. Don't we look soooo cute? She says I look 20 pounds thinner. YES, PLEASE! and Our hairs feel like cotton, I even sprinkled sweet n low onto ms devine and licked it like it was cotton candy SHE DONT MIND I do it all the time.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Yum

TRY THIS:
MIx 1 cool whip (or 2 if theyr on sale) with Diet pepsi for a diet coke float. NOw TAKE IT HARD CORE:
FREEZE IT! and mix with spaghetti sauce for a nice salsa or cold tomatoe soup (real high class dish)
NOW HIT IT UP- put it all in a blender and pour it all over your body and sit in the sun for about an hour. Tell me that is not like being in the womb.
Be BLessed!!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Eatin out

I tried the new wild wings near my house cuz on account they had 11 cent wings. So I thought, what the hey and got me some. Well the bottomless drinks were OK. I hate when soda is too soda-ey. Wild Wings aint got too much bubbles intheir sodas so its nice and syruppy and real refreshin. The wings were ok. a little small and dry. After my first fifty I was still a little hingry so I ordered the family combo- with buffalo chicken tenders and I asked them to go ahead and mix the blue cheez and ranch dips cuz I was gonna do it anyway. Not enuf sugar in the blue cheez. If I wanna eat somethin called blue Im expectin pie fillin. Thank you Jesus I always bring my own. When I opened my can of blueberry pie fillin everyone was lookin at me like " I cant believe I didn/t think of that., I am sooo jealous" Anyhoo, I won't try Wild Wings again unless the y got 5 cent wings or sumthin.
Stay Blessed !

Friday, June 10, 2011

I'm Back

I tell ya folks, it's been a ruff coupla weeks. My computer broke cuz of my cats cant lick their behinds on account of morbid obesity (do I spoil them? GUILTY!)baaahaaa. and the poo poo has dripped from them all up in my computer parts. Cheez wiz was there too.  Cheez wiz has found its way up in every part of my house. Doctor even said there was sum in my kidney stone. HUH?? yessir you heard me. I had a kidney stone too. See how Satan tries to get at you? Anyways, I just got this months disability check FINALLY and I'm off to check out the new Wing-stop over near CiCI's pizza buffet. YES I AM DOUBLE DIPPIN, but I'm celebratin another day christ has given me. I'll tell yall how I liked it.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Satan IS a pain the rear end

One of my long time fans, Dan sent me this wonderful link PROVING God can cure anything.  Sometimes my hemhoroids are a real pain and I just sit on the bible for a bit  or I tear sheets of bible outta the bible and use them for medicated pads to soothe my hemorhoids and I ALWAYS feel better.  If my cats a vomittin I shred up pieces of the bible for her to eat AND SHE ALWAYS feels better after.  Or if I'm too busy eatin to say grace I use parts of the bible for napkins to wipe the chili and cheesecake off my mouth and I NEVER get too bad heartburn after. Or I use the bible on roaches, wobbly chairs, I use the sacred word on anything and everything.
Have a BLESSED MEMORIAL DAY. What are YOU 'Memoring this weekend?

Friday, May 20, 2011

Jesus is here y'all

Here is PROOF GOD IS REAL! I see him in my poo poo sometimes and I feel guilty flushin, but then I think maybe God wants to touch somebody in the sewer. Once I called the news when Jesus showed up on what I call my dingle berry patch, AND in some of my shingles. GOD just chats away at me via vaguely discernable images of him or Mary all the time. PLUS he never shows up to sinful people like Jesse or Sylvia on account of their unclean spirits and makin fun of me all the time.
STAY BLESSED

Thursday, May 19, 2011

God Talks to Us in mysterious ways

I found $8 in my epidermal folds today during my bi-weekly bathing, AND FOUN 8 BUCKS.  Which is exactly what I would need to supersize 2 COMBO MEALS I eat for lunch.  IF that aint GOD talkin to me, I DON"T WANNA BE RIGHT!! Oh and here's a picture of LEANNE and SYLVIA when they were still talkin.  We went to the Pasadena watermelon festival. SOOOO much fun. they had deep fried butter sticks-AMAZING with redi-whip.

BE BLESSED!!!

all out of ideas? Just look up and say, "Yes, Lord?"

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Hump Day Breakfast

I loooooove substitutin donuts for bagels and cheez wiz and tacos substitutin for eggs and eggs substitutin for icecream and  hands substitutin for plates and stomach substitutin for napkins and batter fryin substitutin for steamin.  Anyway, I like to make this pre-breakfast snack and this is how I do it when Im in a bind.  TRY IT DON"T DIET!
STAY BLESSED!!!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

PROOOF GOD IS REAL

One of my FAV bible study Partners Austin shared this link with me.  SOOOO COOOl. TAKE THAT Atheists!!
http://explainthisathiests.tumblr.com/

Monday, May 9, 2011

The American Jesus |

The American Jesus |

There you have it!! Rock and RoLL is full of sex drugs and worshippin Satan. Very inspirin and thought provokin documentary about all the satan worsippin soul sellin rock stars. COUNT ME OUT. I'll take 4HIM any DAY

Friday, May 6, 2011

Someon'es Birthday

Y'all know I loove findn that purrrfect gift for my friends on their b-days.  Well this takes the cake (and I eat the cake bahahahhaaaa and I like to substitute cake for sandwich bread when making my FAMOUS monte cristo sandwich where I put all the fixins for a ham and cheezwiz sandwhich and batter fry the whole thing and serve (myself) it with ketchup and jam) YUM!!!
Anyhoo my friend Slidell smokes cancer sticks like a chimney and sleeps with every tom dick and harry all at once while listenin to BLACK music.  So I got this LOVELY ashtray on my visit to the greater Rural areas of Houston antiquin and found this treasure.  I think the Lord was tellin me PERSONALLY to give this to Slidell as a kinda hint to turn her life around.
What do y'all think?

Thursday, May 5, 2011

SORRY!!

Please excuse the last post.  I been on a retreat for the last few days with my church and stupidly asked a certain SOMEONE we will call SYLVIA!!! to PLEASE FEED my cats.  Well I don't think she did cuz they were meowin up a storm when I came back, and their litter boxes were FILTHY. THANK YOU Sylvia, NOT!!! I don't know how she got into my computer and onto my blogger, but she did.  DOES ANYBODY know how to erase a blogger post or how to change my password? I'm so computer ILLligterarate I can barely press the send buttin when I'm orderin Pizza Hut, Little Caesars, Dominoes, Pappa Jons for my Wednesday night taste of Italy night where I dress up like the pope and feast on Italian culture while watchin Criminal Minds. And by the way, Sylvia do you really think I would leave my PRESCRIPTIONS at home where I can't get 'em when I'm on a CHURCH REETREAT? I regret leavin my Banana Cherry Sutter Homes cookin wine, but the cardboard box is dryer than Sylvia's HAIR . GOD listens to the prayers of a disabled person, SYLVIA so WATCH OUT!!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

hi

Hi, I'm Don Don aND I SMELL AND I like the smell of my own farts and i fart and shit all the time constantly, and Sylvia is cool and I'm stupid and probably like little boys and I'm fat, and I shit on Sylvia all tha time for no reason cause i'm Don Don and I'm fat and I'm fat and I'ma fat. I WISH I could be Sylvia -she's so cool and used to be a Derrick Doll for the Houston Oilers and was the finest piece of ass on that field, and DonDon is too fat in the brain to give her the respect she deserves. And if he is really on disability there should be a shit load of oxicotton or vicodin in his house but aint SHIT- what's up DonDon?? I'm DonDon I eat cat food and smell like rotten shiot!!!

Friday, April 29, 2011

Aunt Ruth


My Aunt Ruth is havin her 95th birthday comin up.  She says she wants it big cuz its probs gonna be her last.  THAT"S WHAT YOU SAID AT YOUR 90th AND 80th birthday parties.  The suspense is killin us.  Just Jokin! BAHAHAHAA No, Aunt RUTH and I are gonna ride side saddle all the way to heaven come the rapture.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Music

An inspiring message about Satan's power over our children.  SCREWW YOU SATAN! I ain't listenin to no more wine women and song frOM YOU! And I know you are possessin Jesse; he reeeks of unclean spirits and body odor and he CURSES like a sailor and likes MEXICAN women!
Make it a great day or not-the choice is God's!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Tuesday Smoothie

I try to fast for the Lord on Tuesdays until Noon eating absolutely nothin except stuff I can put in a blender-maybe some ritz crackers with some pixie sticks and a sliver or 8 of corn beef hash straight outta the can.  BUT NOTHIN ELSE.  Sylvia says they taste like F&*%*&@ ass shit cock, which knowing Sylvia could be either good or bad. For my Tuesday Smoothie I always start with about five scoops of NO SUGAR ADDED birthday cake ice cream and put fruit in it like the candied dried fruit in the picture. And next (say it with me) 3 cups of your favorite miracle whip or mayo for that creamy tangy kick.  Sprinkle with potato sticks and serve. DON"T FORGET YOUR BIB baaahaahaa. no, seriously i don't have no straws so I try to just do a mixture of sippin and inhalin like the whole cup was a straw and it can be kinda of messy especially if you bathe once a week like me. Blessed Blessed Blessed!!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Easter


I just wanna blogger about Jesus dyin on the cross for us a minute.  We celebrate it and it's a lotta fun. Like yesterday, Pastor Edna gave a neato sermon about how last week it was palm Sunday, So you have Jesus bein all loved and by the end of the week he's hangin on the cross. Them jews sure turn on a dime. And during passover the jews ceremoniously reenact the killing of our lord using Matza and gefelta fish or somethin.  Anyway just some food for thought.  Hope you had a good Easter.  I'm gonna start the atkins pretty soon so I made a splenda baked ham sooooooo goooooood.
Stay on team G.O.D.
Have you heard the news?  He's risen.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Slidell

That's Slidell, LoveyJean, Norma, Steve, Pastor Edna, her son, and a few others after our WONDERFUL trip to Lakewood church a few weeks ago.  I LOOOVE Slidell's hair.  And Steve really needs to settle down with a christ centered woman.  He's really good looking, but doesn't date enough. He's tryin to start some ministry in the GAY part of town to turn GAYS into humans; he sure spends a lot of time over there, but God's will I guess. I'm scrapbookin and pulled this picture out and thought, "Oh NEATO!" I'm really into scrapbooking now especially pictures of me eating like crazy long subs for a free meal or a huge steak for a free meal or sobbing profusely while being screamed at and forced fed for a free meal.

Stay Blessed and make your weekend a CHRIST-end (on account he died for our Easter)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Fun hot dog idea

I turned Jesse onto this way of eatin hot dogs since he's on the Atkins now. That's HIS beer there in the background NOT MINE! Anyhoo this treat is Real tasty, and works with strawberry jam or reddi whip - HOT DOGS taste good any way you stuff it. I usually make a tray of about 40 of these right before Glee comes on.  It really curves my depression.
Stay Blessed!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Need I say more?







I, DonDon, too am pretty much always online, cause of my disability and disinclination to leave my house. Be Blessed!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Beautiful Images of Angels TRUE STORY!

My neighbor Jesse can be a you-know-what in the ass sometimes, but he sent me these beautiful artworks of Angels.  Can you pick our which one reminds you of your guardian angel?

They are there when we wake up


They watch over us at night

They even help us garden

And some even look like Jennifer Aniston

They're fun

They are our guardian angels, and our lives are teetering in their hands. BE BLESSED!!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Joel Olsteen's message today at church

I have to be hones I thought Joel Osteen' message today seemed a little short, but just means I can quote him easier.  Today he simply said, 

"Jesus Glows"

                    

  "And he shoots sun lazers at you"




Take it however you wanna I guess.  Have a great blessed day!

Friday, April 15, 2011

another amazing true story

This makes me touched, and when I'm solemn I eat salami.


 A professor at a fancy college was pacing around all smart like before his lecture. Finally, he called to a student to stand up
"You there," he barked, "Do you believe in God?"
The student was taken aback, but said, "Yes Sir I do."
"Then tell me, did he not create everything?"
"Yes, sir, he did"
"Aha," said the professor as he slapped the student.  The other students in the class looked down.  One girl peed in her pants and therefore forfeited her scholarship.
"Then tell me, does evil exist?"
The student stammered, but said," yes sir it does."
"Then God created evil, did he not?"
The student looked to the other students for help, even the incontinent pathetic girl who shouldn't be studying at a man's level anyway, and finally said, "I guess he did, sir"
The professor was so delighted with himself that he passed gas ON AN AMERICAN FLAG OF JESUS.
"So then you must agree that God is evil."
"Yes."
"You must also agree that 2000 years ago God had an affair with a nice young Jewish Girl and they're STILL talking about it."
"Yes, sir, I do."
"Also, Jesus could walk on water BEFORE he had holes in his feet.  Now I'd like to see him try it."
"In addition, isn't it true that if you annoy Jesus too much, you can make him cross?"
"Hold on, sir," the timid child said
"What?" Boomed the professor.
"I think God is inherently love, and he made Satan out of boredom, and I think he likes to use us as pawns so he and Satan can compete using our ability of free will to find out who can get the most "pawns" at the end of the day so to speak. Without this ongoing chess match between God and Satan, what does it all mean?"
The professor stumbled.  He had never heard this logic before and couldn't reconcile his Satan worshiping atheistic beliefs with the profound truth that was uttered before him.
"I don't know what to say." muttered the professor under his breath, "You may sit down, " the professor finally said and resigned from the school and was cursed for being a d bag.

The student was Albert Einstein.

The Professor was Barrack Obama.


too scared to forward it?  YOU BETTER BE!